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on: 02/19/19, 10:34 PM
So, for the last couple of years, I'd been using a Samsung Convoy flip phone, I kinda had to, living out in the desert, like I did. But after getting a place in town Finally my phone upfrade came up, I was able to get a good discount on a Moto DROID RZR Max and I could finally run the app that my friends and the internet had been going on about for months.
My little brother even bragged about havin met girls while using the app. That's right not just fun and excuse to be active, what I was hearing equated to playing Pokemon Go provides potential possilities for promiscuous peeambulation.

So I did have to access wifi to download the app, it was making me walk already. Not sure how behind that whole concept I was to start with. And of course it was a concern of mine, sould I meet many players in my age group, or would they most people be in my brother's age group... Or younger... I seriously hoped I would meet some cool Pokemon fans my age, maybe even, fingers crossed, a couple cute chubby bi chicks, who could be into a guy like me. I can dream, can't I?

Well I got the app downloaded and set up. Making my trainer avatar was no fun, I fealt that wave of body shame washing over me, the realization that there was no way to make the trainer an exomorph bodytype or give him facial hair, that old, there's no way to make this look like me, feeling, feeling like you're something that isn't supposed to exist, like loster boy, or seal girl... Whatever it's just a dumb game avatar, right? There aren't really even enough options to make thectrainer look cool or unique, so I make my trainer a boy with brown eyes and spiky brown hair in a red sun visor. Following my little brother's advice, I joined the same team as him Team Rocket. I figured the first thing I aught to do is try t hatch some Pokemon, having no idea how to do it I just started wandering aroun.

I think I must've been focussed overmuch on the screen, and fanciful thoughts, because it was much sooner than I expect that I found myself in unfamillar surroundings. I tried to figure out where I was using the map, and this is where I should have just switched over to Google Maps and followed it back to a street I knew, but, instead I looked around the Pokemon Go map. For the first time I noticed other trainers marked on the map. I was too excited at the prospect of meeting other players in reality through the game that I didn't think about the fact that I was lost or, really anything. Maybe they'd be pokemon fans, like me, maybe they could share some tips with me about the game, maybe, just maybe...

A new Pokemon was hatching on my screen, it was just a Pigi, maybe it would evolve if I fead it the Caterpi I hatched earlier, I joked to myself, nonetheless the activity drew my focus to the screen. I wasn't watching where I was going. I din't see a burly tattooed man in faded dungarees, a wife beater and sports shades step up to the corner, just ahead. I ran smack, into the stranger. He was a head shorter than me, but stout and muscular, the snarl on his face was more than suffuccient to intimidate me.

"Ollé pendejo!" He shouted at me.

"I'm sorry I-I just--" I started to stammer.

"Nice new smartphone!" His tone shifted dramatically.

"Um... Uh... Thanks?" I suddenly fealt afraid of being robbed.

"And those kicks," he went on, "Reebock?"

His words only increased my fear, but like a chump I glanced down at my shoes, and in that moment he took the opportunity to drive his fist into my solarplexis. As I lay there, wheezinghe took off with my new smart phone, and my shoes.

Eventually I was able to get up, and hobbled my way down the street to where I had been heading, a concentration of other trainers had shown up on the app before I got mugged. It was a small card shop I'd never heard of. There were three or four heavyset neckbeards rotating their phones on a pottery wheel as an easy way of hatching Pokemon, from there I called police and reported the mugging, then had my phone shut off and ordered a new one through Assureon, but I can definitely say I will never play Pokemon Go again, and I hope this warning gets to you before you get hurt playing Pokemon Go too.